The Jewish Funeral Checklist — From Death to Shiva
For Canadian Jewish families, a funeral follows specific traditions emphasizing dignity, simplicity, and prompt burial. The community plays a significant role through the chevra kadisha (sacred burial society) and shiva (seven-day mourning).
Step 1 — Immediate contacts (within hours)
- Contact a Jewish funeral home — many Canadian cities have Jewish-specific funeral homes; otherwise general funeral home familiar with Jewish customs
- Contact the chevra kadisha through the funeral home or community
- Contact the rabbi
- Notify family and close community
Step 2 — Body care
Shomer (companion). Tradition holds that the body should not be left alone from death to burial. A shomer (companion) stays with the body, often reciting psalms.
Taharah (ritual purification). Performed by the chevra kadisha (sacred burial society) — a profound communal mitzvah. The body is washed and ritually purified.
Tachrichim (burial garments). Simple white linen garments — same for everyone, reflecting equality in death.
No embalming. Traditionally not done.
No cosmetic preparation. The body is buried as it is.
Step 3 — Casket
Plain wooden casket:
- Often pine or other simple wood
- No metal nails or hardware (or minimal)
- Allows quick return to the earth
- Reflects equality (rich and poor buried alike)
- Cost typically $500-2,000
Some communities have a specific casket available through the chevra kadisha or community.
Step 4 — Timing
Within 24 hours where possible. Burial should occur promptly out of respect for the deceased.
Delays only for:
- Shabbat (Friday sunset to Saturday sunset) — burial postponed
- Major holidays — burial postponed
- Family travel — limited delay if family must travel from distance
- Coroner involvement if applicable
Sabbath and holiday restrictions: Burial cannot occur on Shabbat or first day of major holidays. Postponed to following day.
Step 5 — Funeral service
Location: Funeral home chapel or graveside (no Mass equivalent; brief service appropriate to both locations). Some families have a service at the synagogue.
Duration: 30-60 minutes typically.
Elements:
- Welcome by rabbi or family
- Hesped (eulogy) by rabbi, family, or close friends
- Selected psalms (Psalm 23 commonly)
- El Maleh Rachamim — prayer for the soul
- Kriah — rending of garments by immediate mourners (or a ribbon worn that is then torn)
- Mourner's Kaddish
Kriah: Immediate mourners (parent, spouse, sibling, child) tear a garment or a ribbon as a sign of grief. Traditionally a small tear in clothing; modern practice often a ribbon worn on the lapel that is then torn.
Step 6 — At the graveside
Procession from funeral chapel to grave (or graveside service from beginning).
Brief graveside service:
- Selected psalms
- El Maleh Rachamim
- Final prayers
- Lowering of the casket
Mourners participate in filling the grave. A profound mitzvah — community members each contribute a few shovels of earth. Often with the back of the shovel for the first shovel (symbol of reluctance to bury the loved one).
Burial typically same day unless restrictions prevent.
Step 7 — Shiva (seven days)
The family enters shiva immediately after burial.
Setting: The family home.
Duration: Seven days, from afternoon of burial day through morning of the seventh day. Shabbat and holidays interrupt; full seven days may be reduced.
Practices:
- Mourners stay at home
- Receive visitors (community brings food, offers comfort)
- Twice or three times daily prayer services often held at the shiva house
- Mirrors covered (no vanity in mourning)
- Mourners sit on low chairs (a sign of mourning posture)
- Mourners don't shower, don't wear leather shoes, don't shave (traditional, varies by family)
- Memorial candle (seven-day shiva candle) burns continuously
Visitor etiquette: Bring food, sit quietly, follow the mourner's lead, don't initiate conversation about the deceased (let the mourner lead), share memories if welcomed.
Beyond shiva
Shloshim: Thirty days of mourning (less intense than shiva); mourners return to normal activities but observe certain restrictions.
Year of mourning (for parents): Eleven months of saying Mourner's Kaddish in daily services; one-year unveiling of the headstone.
Yahrzeit: Annual observance of the death date; lighting of a yahrzeit candle, attending synagogue, reciting Mourner's Kaddish.
Jewish cemeteries in Canada
Major Canadian Jewish cemeteries include:
- Pardes Shalom (Toronto area)
- Mount Sinai (Toronto)
- Schara Tzedeck (Vancouver)
- Various Montreal Jewish cemeteries
- Calgary, Edmonton, Winnipeg, Halifax all have Jewish cemeteries
Generally require Jewish identification; traditional cemeteries require Orthodox burial standards; some serve broader Jewish community.
Differences by denomination
Orthodox: Strict adherence to traditional practices; chevra kadisha taharah; no cremation; plain wooden casket; same-day burial where possible.
Conservative: Traditional practices generally; some flexibility; cremation varies (rabbi-by-rabbi).
Reform: More flexibility; cremation accepted; less rigid timing; broader interpretation of practices.
What we focus on at It's Simple Will
The Funeral Pre-Planner captures Jewish-specific preferences — denomination, chevra kadisha preference, cemetery, shiva location.
Related guides
Citations & sources
- [1]Anne Tanenbaum Centre for Jewish Studies — University of Toronto — University of Toronto, Anne Tanenbaum Centre for Jewish Studies
- [2]The Canadian Jewish News — The Canadian Jewish News
Frequently asked questions
Why so quickly — burial within 24 hours?
Jewish tradition emphasizes prompt burial as a matter of dignity — k'vod ha-met (honour of the deceased). Delay only when necessary (Shabbat, holidays, family travel from distance). Burial may not occur on Shabbat or major holidays — postponed to following day.
What's the chevra kadisha?
Chevra kadisha (sacred burial society) — volunteer community organization that performs the taharah (ritual purification of the body) and dresses the body in tachrichim (white linen burial garments). Considered a profound mitzvah (commandment). Most Canadian Jewish communities have an active chevra kadisha.
Is cremation permitted in Judaism?
Traditionally no — Orthodox Judaism does not permit cremation. Reform Judaism permits it. Conservative Judaism varies. Many Conservative and Reform rabbis are willing to officiate at a memorial service with cremated remains, but traditional Jewish cemeteries may not accept cremated remains for interment.
What's the casket like?
Plain wooden casket (often pine) with no metal nails or hardware. Reflects equality in death (rich and poor buried alike) and quick return to the earth. Often unfinished or simply finished. Cost typically $500-2,000 (much less than premium caskets).
What happens at the graveside?
Brief graveside service (often only 15-30 minutes), psalms and prayers, eulogy (hesped), El Maleh Rachamim prayer for the soul. Then mourners physically participate in filling the grave with earth (a profound mitzvah of accompanying the deceased to their final rest).
What's shiva?
Seven days of intensive mourning at the family home starting after burial. Mourners stay at home, receive visitors, traditional prayers said in the home, mirrors covered, mourners sit on low chairs. Community brings food and provides support. Shiva ends on the morning of the seventh day.