How to Choose Pallbearers
For Canadian families planning a funeral with a casket, choosing pallbearers is a meaningful early decision. The 6-8 individuals selected carry the casket from chapel to hearse, from hearse to graveside, and become a visible part of the service.
How many pallbearers
Traditional: 6 (three on each side of the casket).[1]
Larger or heavier caskets: 8 (four per side).
Also common: 4, sometimes with the funeral director or an assistant supplementing.[2]
Who to choose
Traditional choices:
- Adult sons of the deceased
- Brothers of the deceased
- Sons-in-law
- Adult grandsons
- Nephews
- Close male friends
- Long-term work colleagues
Modern Canadian practice:
- Women included equally as pallbearers
- Same-gender or mixed-gender groups
- Selection based on close relationship rather than only blood relation
Selection criteria:
- Close personal relationship to the deceased
- Physical capability (a casket can weigh hundreds of pounds, and pallbearers may need to walk some distance)[2]
- Available and able to attend
- Willingness (don't conscript reluctant participants)
Honorary pallbearers
Named in the program but don't physically carry the casket.
When useful:
- Honouring someone elderly or with physical limitations
- Distant family or friends who cannot travel
- Large group of close friends — physical pallbearers can't accommodate all
- Cultural tradition recognizing multiple specific individuals
- Past colleagues or community leaders
Number: Varies; honorary pallbearers may be named in a separate program list.
Visibility: Honorary pallbearers are recognized in the program and any spoken acknowledgement; they don't physically carry.
How to ask
Timing: Several days before the funeral if possible. Pallbearers need time to arrange travel, attire, and time off work.
Format: "Mom/dad would have wanted you to be a pallbearer at the funeral. It's a brief role — you'll help carry the casket from the chapel to the hearse, and from the hearse to the graveside. The funeral is on [date] at [location]. Are you able to do that?"
Allow them to decline: Some people may have physical limitations, emotional difficulty, or scheduling conflicts. Provide space to decline gracefully.
Provide details:
- Date, time, location of funeral
- Specific timing for pallbearer arrival (usually a little before the service)[2]
- Where to meet (funeral home, chapel)
- What to wear
- Any specific protocols (matching colour of tie, etc.)
Pallbearer duties
Before the service:
- Arrive a little early to receive instructions
- Meet at designated location (funeral home, chapel)
- Brief by funeral director on procedures
- Stand by during visitation if applicable
During the service:
- Carry casket into and out of chapel
- Carry casket from chapel to hearse
- May ride together (separate vehicle from family) to cemetery
At the cemetery:
- Carry casket from hearse to graveside
- Position casket on lowering device
- Stand respectfully during graveside service
Total duration: Active duties can span the whole service, including waiting time. Physical carrying is usually brief.[2]
What to wear
Standard:
- Dark suit or formal dark dress
- White or muted dress shirt
- Conservative tie
- Dark dress shoes (closed-toe)
Family may specify:
- Matching tie colour
- Specific colour scheme
- Cultural or religious dress
Funeral home may provide:
- Gloves (often white)
- Boutonniere (often a small flower)
Physical considerations
Casket weight: A casket can weigh hundreds of pounds, depending on type and contents.[2]
Distance: Varies (chapel exit to hearse; hearse to graveside).
Stairs/uneven ground: Some chapels have stairs; some cemeteries have uneven terrain. Plan accordingly.
Accommodations: If a pallbearer has physical limitations:
- Funeral home staff supplement
- Casket on wheeled cart for portion
- Honorary pallbearer status instead
- Brief carrying only with longer distance on cart
Cremation services
Cremation services may use fewer pallbearers than a casket funeral:[2]
- No casket to carry (cremation directly)
- Urn is small and carried by family member or funeral director
- Some families have honorary pallbearers for the memorial service even without a casket
What if there's no immediate family
When family is sparse, distant, or unavailable:
- Funeral home staff serve as pallbearers (common, discreet)
- Close friends step in
- Colleagues
- Community members (church, fraternal organizations, sports clubs)
No stigma — funeral home staff regularly serve in this role.
What we focus on at It's Simple Will
The Funeral Pre-Planner can capture preferences about your own funeral — who you'd want as pallbearers, whether honorary pallbearers should be named, specific cultural or religious protocols.
Related guides
Citations & sources
- [1]How many pallbearers will be needed? - International Cemetery, Cremation and Funeral Association
- [2]A guide for pallbearers (Canada) - Dignity Memorial (Canada)
Frequently asked questions
How many pallbearers do I need?
Traditionally 6 (three on each side of the casket). Some funerals use 8 (four per side) for larger or heavier caskets. Honorary pallbearers (named but not physically carrying) often supplement.
Who should be pallbearers?
Traditionally adult sons, brothers, sons-in-law, nephews, close male friends, colleagues. Modern practice includes women equally. Selection should reflect close relationship to the deceased and physical capability for carrying (a casket can weigh hundreds of pounds, and pallbearers may need to walk some distance).
What about honorary pallbearers?
Honorary pallbearers are named but don't physically carry the casket. Useful when — someone close cannot physically carry; out-of-town family members can't make ceremony; large group of close friends; tradition of honouring multiple specific people. They may be named in a separate list.
How do I ask someone?
Asking is meaningful — give advance notice, explain what's involved. Format — 'Mom/dad would want you to be a pallbearer at the funeral. It's a brief role — carrying the casket from the chapel to the hearse, and from the hearse to the graveside. Are you able to do that?'. Allow them to decline if needed without awkwardness.
What do pallbearers wear?
Typically dark suits or formal dress consistent with funeral attire. Family may specify (matching suits, specific tie colour). Some funeral homes provide gloves for pallbearers.
What if there aren't enough family/friends?
Funeral home staff can serve as pallbearers if family/friends insufficient. This is common and discreet — no negative implication. Cremation services may need fewer pallbearers.