Custom Funeral Planning in Canada — Personalising the Service
For Canadian families wanting a funeral that reflects the specific person rather than a generic template, custom planning is increasingly mainstream. Most Canadian funeral homes accommodate substantial personalisation — the question is what to personalise and how.
What can be customised
- Music — the deceased's favourite songs, not just standard funeral selections
- Readings — poems, books, scripture, song lyrics meaningful to them
- Venue — anywhere appropriate (their golf club, favourite restaurant, family cottage, outdoor location they loved)
- Visual elements — photo displays, video tributes, mementos, artwork they created or owned, displays of hobbies/work
- Food and reception — their favourite cuisine, their favourite cocktail recipe, a potluck of dishes they loved
- Officiant — close family or friend leading the service, not just a designated celebrant
- Eulogists — multiple voices from different angles (family, lifelong friends, colleagues) instead of one
- Ceremony elements — releasing balloons or doves, planting a tree, signing a memorial canvas
- Closing — sending people off with the deceased's favourite uplifting song instead of a dirge
What's typically constrained
For religious services:
- Specific prescribed scriptures, prayers, rituals
- Specific officiant requirements (priest, rabbi, imam, etc.)
- Specific liturgy or service structure
For specific venues:
- Capacity limits
- Audio/visual capabilities
- Time slots and scheduling
- Cleanup requirements
Within these constraints, substantial personalisation is still possible — and most religious leaders work to accommodate meaningful personal elements.
How to plan custom elements
1. Reflect on the deceased. What did they love? What made them distinctive? What did their closest people see in them?
2. Identify 3-5 specific elements. Custom doesn't mean every element is unconventional — it means the meaningful elements reflect the person. A traditional structure with 3-5 personal touches often works better than full deconstruction.
3. Coordinate with the funeral home. They've seen many customisations and can suggest what works practically. Some elements need lead time (custom video tribute, hiring a specific musician, securing a unique venue).
4. Brief the officiant. If using an officiant, ensure they understand the personalisation and can integrate it smoothly into their portion.
5. Test elements where possible. Audio for music selections, video for photo tributes — verify they work in the venue.
Examples of effective personalisation
- Service held at the deceased's favourite golf course; tributes between holes
- Open-mic time for friends and family to share stories instead of formal eulogy
- Live performance by the deceased's band, friends, or chosen musicians
- Reception featuring the deceased's favourite meal cooked by family
- Memorial canvas attendees sign for the family to keep
- Specific colour code (attendees in the deceased's favourite colour)
- Display of deceased's life work (art, woodworking, photography, written work)
What we focus on at It's Simple Will
The Funeral Pre-Planner captures specific personalisation preferences alongside standard funeral choices — favourite music, preferred eulogists, meaningful venues, custom elements you want included.
Related guides
Citations & sources
- [1]Funeral Service Association of Canada — Funeral Service Association of Canada
Frequently asked questions
How much can we personalise?
Most elements are flexible. Within religious traditions, some elements are prescribed (specific scriptures, prayers, rituals) while others are open (music, eulogy choices, photos). For secular or celebration-of-life services, almost everything is personalisable. Discuss specific personalisation ideas with the funeral home or officiant — most can accommodate or suggest variations.
What about the venue?
Personalisable. While funeral home chapels are the default, services can be held at religious institutions, community halls, restaurants, golf clubs, family homes, outdoor locations, breweries — anywhere appropriate to the deceased's life. See our memorial venues article for ideas.
Can we have themed elements?
Yes, with judgment. Some funerals incorporate themes — colour schemes reflecting the deceased's preferences (one widely-shared funeral had attendees wearing yellow because the deceased loved yellow), specific music (deceased's band playing live, favourite playlists), specific food (their favourite cuisine catered). Themes that feel authentic to the deceased work; themes imposed from outside often feel off.
What about traditional vs. unconventional eulogists?
Family member typically, but flexible. Sometimes a close friend rather than family member knows the deceased better in specific contexts. Sometimes multiple short eulogies (3-4 people, 3-5 minutes each) capture the deceased's life from different angles better than one long one.
Can we incorporate the deceased's own words?
Powerful element. Reading from journals, letters, social media posts, professional writing, or recorded interviews can give the deceased voice at their own funeral. Particularly meaningful when the deceased wrote about their own life or values.
How do we decide what to include?
Ask what the deceased would have wanted. If they pre-planned, follow the documentation. If not, ask what they cared about, what made them distinctive, what their close people loved about them — and design from there. Generic funeral structure works for many; custom design serves families wanting more meaningful reflection.