Letter of Wishes vs Will in Canada — What Goes Where
A will is good at saying what — who gets the house, who is executor, who raises the children. It is terrible at saying why, and it is a poor place for anything you would rather not have read aloud, because once a will is probated it generally becomes a public document. A letter of wishes fills that gap. It carries no legal force, and that is precisely the point: it lets you guide, explain, and reassure without binding anyone's hands. Used together, the will and the letter do what neither does alone.
This guide explains what each document is for, what belongs in each, and why a non-binding letter is one of the most useful tools in estate planning. It is general information for the common-law provinces, not legal advice.
The will — binding, formal, public
The will is the legally enforceable instrument. It makes the gifts, appoints the executor, names guardians for minor children, and creates any trusts. To be valid it must meet your province's formal requirements for signing and witnessing.[1] Anything you want a court to enforce has to live here. And because the will is generally filed with the court and becomes public on probate,[3] it is not the place for private explanations or sensitive family context.
The letter of wishes — guidance, private, flexible
A letter of wishes is a separate, informal document addressed to your executor or trustee. It is precatory — it expresses what you would like, and the people carrying out the will should consider it, but they are not legally bound to follow it. That flexibility is the feature, not a flaw. It lets you provide context and direction that would be clumsy or impossible to put in binding terms.
What goes where
A simple division keeps the two working together:
In the will (binding): who inherits and in what shares; the executor and alternate; guardians for minor children; any trusts and their core terms.
In the letter of wishes (guidance): the reasons behind your decisions, especially unequal gifts; how a trustee should exercise discretion; funeral and burial preferences; the location of accounts, documents, and passwords; care instructions for pets; and personal messages to family.
The cardinal rule is consistency: the letter must never contradict the will, and it cannot make a gift the will does not. Update it when you update the will.
Why the letter matters
Three uses make a letter of wishes worth writing:
- Defusing disputes. A clear, calm explanation of why one child received more can take the sting out of an unequal gift far better than silence — see how much to leave each child.
- Guiding a discretionary trust. Where a trust gives the trustee discretion — common in a Henson trust or a trust for a child with an addiction — the letter tells the trustee how you would want that discretion used, without freezing the trust into rigid rules.
- Keeping sensitive matters private. Reasons, family history, and personal messages stay out of the public probated will.
What it cannot do
A letter of wishes cannot make or change a gift, cannot appoint an executor or guardian, and cannot override the will. Treating it as a shortcut to avoid drafting the will properly is the main way it goes wrong. If something must be enforced, it belongs in the will; the letter is for everything that benefits from guidance rather than command.
What we focus on at It's Simple Will
The Will Creator produces the binding will at the centre of your plan; a letter of wishes is the natural, low-cost companion you write alongside it to carry the context and guidance a will can't. For the decisions a letter most often explains, see how much to leave each child.
Related guides
Citations & sources
- [1]Succession Law Reform Act, RSO 1990, c S.26 — what a valid will must contain and how it is executed — Government of Ontario
- [2]Administering estates (Ontario) — Government of Ontario
- [3]Apply for probate of an estate (Ontario) — Government of Ontario
Frequently asked questions
What is a letter of wishes?
A private, non-binding document that accompanies your will and offers guidance to your executor or trustee. It can explain the reasoning behind your decisions, give direction on how to exercise discretion in a trust, record funeral preferences, and pass on personal messages. It is persuasive and helpful, but not legally enforceable like the will.
What is the difference between a letter of wishes and a will?
The will is legally binding — it makes the gifts, names the executor, and appoints guardians, and it must meet formal signing and witnessing rules. A letter of wishes is not binding; it guides the people carrying out the will. Anything you want legally enforced must be in the will itself, not the letter.
What should go in the will versus the letter?
Binding matters — who inherits, who is executor, who is guardian — go in the will. Guidance and context — why you divided things as you did, how a trustee should weigh a beneficiary's needs, funeral preferences, the location of accounts, care instructions for pets — fit a letter of wishes. Keep the two consistent.
Is a letter of wishes legally binding?
Generally no. It is precatory, meaning it expresses wishes the executor or trustee should consider but is not compelled to follow. That is by design — a binding instruction belongs in the will. Trying to make gifts through a letter rather than the will usually fails and can create confusion.
Why use a letter of wishes at all?
Because it does things a will cannot do well. It explains unequal gifts in a way that defuses resentment, guides a trustee's discretion in a Henson or discretionary trust, and keeps sensitive personal context out of the will — which becomes a public document once probated. It is one of the most useful, underused estate tools.
Can a letter of wishes help with a discretionary trust?
Yes, that is one of its best uses. Where a trust gives the trustee discretion over how much each beneficiary receives, a letter of wishes tells the trustee how you would want that discretion exercised — for example, prioritizing a disabled child's needs — without locking the trust into rigid terms.