Pre-Planning Conversation Checklist for Canadian Couples

Last updated July 3, 2026 · 4 min read
Quick answer
The pre-planning conversations Canadian couples most often skip — what each partner wants for end-of-life care, who would be executor for each, how children's guardianship would work, what each partner's funeral wishes are, where important documents are stored, what financial accounts exist and where, what the survivor's financial picture would look like, what professional contacts to call. The conversations are uncomfortable but take 1-3 hours total. Couples who have them in advance avoid the most painful gaps families discover after a sudden death.

The conversations Canadian couples most often regret skipping are the ones about wills, end-of-life wishes, and estate logistics. Not because the conversations are pleasant — they aren't — but because the alternative is having the conversation under crisis or grief, when it's much harder. This checklist organizes the pre-planning conversations into a sequence you can work through across a few evenings or weekends.

When to use this checklist

For Canadian couples (married or common-law, any combination) who:

  • Haven't yet had structured conversations about wills and estate matters
  • Have had partial conversations but want to ensure they covered the major topics
  • Are preparing to write or update their wills
  • Have just experienced a death in their families and want to do better than the previous generation did

The checklist — eight conversation topics

1. Wills and executors

  • Do we both have current wills? When were they last updated?
  • Who is each of our executors? Have we asked them and they've accepted?
  • Who is each of our backup executors?
  • Are the wills aligned (similar provisions, no conflicts)?
  • Where are the original signed wills stored? Both spouses should know.

2. Children — guardianship and finances

  • If both of us die, who is the legal guardian for our children?
  • Have we asked the proposed guardian and they've accepted?
  • Who is the backup guardian?
  • How would our children's inheritance be managed (trust, age-staged distribution)?
  • Who would oversee any trust for the children?

3. End-of-life medical wishes

  • What does each of us want for end-of-life medical care?
  • Do we both have Powers of Attorney for Personal Care (or equivalent in each province)?
  • Does each PoA know they have been named?
  • What are each of our positions on resuscitation, life support, MAID (medical assistance in dying)?
  • Are these wishes documented in an advance care directive?

4. Funeral wishes

  • Burial, cremation, body donation, or other?
  • Religious or cultural elements important to each of us?
  • Specific music, readings, or traditions desired?
  • Any pre-arrangements made with a funeral home?
  • Where each of us would prefer remains to rest

5. Organ donation

  • Are we registered as organ donors?
  • Provincial registry status confirmed for each
  • Family understanding of the registration (so they support if it comes up)
  • Any organ donation restrictions or preferences

6. Financial picture

  • What accounts do we have, where (banks, investments, registered plans)?
  • What life insurance do we each carry?
  • What debts do we have (mortgage, loans, credit cards)?
  • If one of us died tomorrow, what would the survivor's financial picture look like?
  • Where are the documents stored (will, insurance policies, account statements)?

7. Professional contacts

  • Lawyer (if we have one)
  • Accountant
  • Financial advisor
  • Insurance broker
  • Family doctor (for medical history during estate work if needed)
  • Funeral home (if pre-arranged)
  • Who knows about each of these contacts?

8. Digital life

  • Where are passwords stored (password manager, written list, etc.)?
  • Who has access to the password manager?
  • What about email accounts, cloud storage, social media?
  • Any subscriptions or recurring digital charges to identify?

What to do after the conversations

  • Create or update both wills
  • Create or update Powers of Attorney
  • Document everything in a Life Discovery Kit or equivalent
  • Tell the people identified (executor, guardian, POA) about their roles
  • Review annually (or after major life events)

Download a print-ready PDF

Download the Pre-Planning Conversation checklist PDF →

Want a checklist customized for your situation?

This is the standard version. It's Simple Will customers get a personalized version that adapts to your specific situation — for example, the conversation prompts about children only appear if you have children, the prompts about a family business only appear if you've indicated one. The personalized version becomes a couples-friendly working document rather than a generic checklist.

Learn more about It's Simple Will →

Citations & sources

  1. [1]Canadian Bar Association — Wills, Estates and Trusts Section — Canadian Bar Association
  2. [2]Steps to Justice — What happens if you have a common-law partner (dying without a will in Ontario) — Community Legal Education Ontario (CLEO)

Frequently asked questions

When should couples have these conversations?

Ideally well before they are needed — in middle age (40s-60s), after major life events (marriage, children, home purchase, business start), or whenever the topic naturally comes up. The right time is 'before it matters,' which is essentially always now. Couples who wait until illness forces the conversation often have less time and more pressure.

How should we structure these conversations?

Most couples find it easier to break the conversation into focused 1-hour sessions rather than a single long meeting. Topic by topic. Some couples use this checklist as a guide for sequential weekend conversations. Others go through it all in one evening. The format matters less than actually having the conversations.

What if my spouse refuses to engage?

This is common. The deflection usually comes from discomfort, not disinterest. Some practical strategies — start with practical topics (where documents are kept) before emotional ones (funeral wishes), use a written tool like this checklist to take the personal edge off, frame it as 'protecting our children' rather than 'planning for my death,' and accept that perfect coverage isn't required — even partial conversations help.

Do we need separate wills or one joint will?

Separate wills, almost always. Canadian estate planners broadly advise against joint wills for most couples because they create complications when one spouse dies (the surviving spouse's later changes may be constrained by the joint will terms). Each spouse typically has their own individual will. Many couples have mirror wills with similar provisions.

What about same-sex couples and common-law partners?

All Canadian provinces recognize same-sex marriage and most provincial estate laws treat common-law partners similarly to married spouses for many purposes, though specific provincial rules vary. Common-law couples should be especially attentive to estate planning because intestacy rules treat common-law partners differently in different provinces — without a will, the survivor may not automatically inherit.

Should we include our adult children in these conversations?

Eventually, yes. The conversations about who will be executor, guardianship of younger children, end-of-life wishes, and family decisions are often appropriate to share with adult children. They often have opinions or concerns worth hearing, and shared understanding reduces dispute risk. But the couple's own conversations should come first.

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